The parent's guide to 'self defence'

Taking a hike may be the best idea.

...and when to walk away.

A massive conflict erupted between me and my daughter on Friday. Without diving into all the details, it was bad—probably the worst we've ever had. It’s really broken my heart. It all started with something I said in the heat of the moment, not allowing her to do something we had planned as a family. Then, when I asked for a do-over, she refused to participate, using my earlier decision against me.

I agreed she could choose not to join in, but due to previous broken rules about using the internet, I decided to switch off the Wi-Fi for the two hours we’d be out. That obviously unleashed her fury. I don’t know how long this will take to fix. All those parenting books say you’ll get better at mending things and that fixing is more important, but I don’t know. Right now, I’m just tired, upset, and heartbroken. I feel like just removing myself for a bit—not as a punishment but more as self-defence.

I know it’s probably not the most mature thing to do as an adult, but it’s what I need right now. So today, I took a bus by myself to the beach. I really appreciate my husband, even with his broken back, giving me the time to break away for a bit. It’s nice to unclutter my mind and not have to plan or think—just me, a water bottle, and a bag.

At the beach, I don’t have to worry about what to cook for lunch. It’s nice to just watch the ocean, sit in the sand, walk along the shore—even if it’s just for an hour. I don’t know what I’ll do when I get home, but I guess with parenting it’s one step at a time, trying not to mess up too badly.

One thing I need to give myself credit for is that despite all her swearing at me and vandalising things at home, I’ve held my tongue and not sworn back at her. So that’s my takeaway—my little win for the day.

Footnotes Image created using Freepik's AI generator with Flux 1.0. Prompt: beach with crashing waves and cloudy sky, some people lying on the beach far away, low angle, 3 seagulls flying far away in the sky. Green hues. #illustratedpop